Before we get into this, I want you to sit down and be prepared for a bittersweet ending. You see, this isn’t one of those blog posts where I encourage every writer to keep fighting, this is a heartfelt and open case for why I may have to quit.
As some of you may already know, I’ve been spending the past five and half years battling a deep depression that nearly cost me everything. Worry not. I’m in a pretty happy place now, but have been putting on a brave face for a long, long time while I’ve been cheerleading others to keep fighting. I don’t think I’m special in this regard and believe there’s many out there in my previous situation, some of whom who will be even worse than I ever was.
Following a lot of therapy and personal efforts to rebuild, I’ve been reading a lot of psychology, and a chapter of Robert Greene’s “Games People Play” hit me hard. We’re all pretty much familiar with the concept of alcoholism, how it pulls in the vulnerable and gives them purpose — sadly a purpose which is entirely self-destructive. Those alcoholics exchange fleeting moments of happiness for a constant cycle of self abuse which spirals downward and downward. The thing is, this pattern does not have be fuelled by ethanol, there is such thing as what Greene calls the “dry alcoholic”.
I feel it’s about time we had a little conversation about how utterly life destroying the screenwriting dream can be.
