But I Did the Absolute Bare Minimum?

CJ Walley
8 min readApr 24, 2020
Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash

It’s time for a bit of fun. Look, take this satirical blog post how you want. It’s not directed at anybody in particular but it does pull from various individuals I’ve watched trying to break in over the past eight years and points out a very real problem I seem to see every day within various online communities — there’s too many entitled screenwriters out there complaining about a lack of success while putting in the least amount of effort.

Can we please spare a thought for Karen…

…who, after ten years of doing as little as possible to further her career, feels life has it in for her and the system is broken. In that decade of “intensely pushing herself on a daily basis” and totally not spending most of her time rearranging the items on her desk until she has the “zen needed to create her art”, Karen has written a feature length biographical about herself and how unfair her childhood was along with a completely unrelated young-adult thriller about a dull teenage protagonist with a love of writing who rejects her parents and goes on to prove they were ever wrong to doubt her, something she has managed to do in between bitter feuds with her child’s baseball coach and trying to sell the $15,000 worth of essential oils that’s currently stopping her husband parking his treasured 1994 Camaro in their double garage. To bolster her already vast portfolio, she has managed to eek out one short script she fully expects to become a festival darling but can’t be bothered to produce. She just doesn’t want the attention of fame, you see?

While Karen can’t find the energy to show their prowess within the literary realm by completing a short bio to attract the interest of industry members, she can find limitless energy to painstakingly light a headshot that’s highly effective in soliciting dick-pics from frustrated male peers. Despite seemingly being uninterested in either promoting herself or her work, she is quick to make it clear to anybody asking that she does indeed have a strong passion for creative writing but that writing seems to mainly consist of trying to creatively argue their subjective opinion as objective fact within screenwriting forums.

However Karen, who likes to argue the best Ghostbusters movie was the 2016 all female remake partly to be as flippant as…

CJ Walley

Screenwriter | Film Producer | Founder of Script Revolution & Rebelle Rouser | Author of Turn & Burn